when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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