I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize