I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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