The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
