He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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