Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
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