This is not my ceiling
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
