I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
