Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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