you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
