I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
