I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
