So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize