I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
