Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I deserve this hangover.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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