marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
