You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just want nice things and good sex
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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