You can't special order awesome
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I believe in your delicious
i out mim tonsoeep
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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