And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
