i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
