She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
