Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Randomize