so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
