I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
