Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
