When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
