Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
My ATM looks so different sober.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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