He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
