I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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