So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
