Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
