Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
