Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
So apparently I’m into choking now
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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