I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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