I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
