So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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