Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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