We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
