I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
