Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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