I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
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