i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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