from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
i now understand why vodka
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
