He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
