go do what you do best...puke behind churches
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
