come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
