i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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