Are we in a gay sports bar?
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
