redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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