Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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