So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
