Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Randomize
