I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i just had sex bonerless
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
