weddingsv make me drug and hornr
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize