Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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