Why are handjobs necessary in class?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
