new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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