sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just cut my nipple shaving
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize