Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
My dad just said "fuck circus"
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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