remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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