I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
