I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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