I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
