uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
