I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
